Most people have a singular personality and their soul. The objective in life is to align our personality with our soul so we can successfully fulfill life's plan.
After half a lifetime I discover I have two personalities that I was born with. On one side of me there is the external representation of my personality that is a culmination of all of my words, thoughts and deeds. On the other side there is the personality disorder of ADHD of which I am severely influenced.
The ADHD side of my personality is the friend that I never knew. The one who never left me when times were tough. Although I never knew him he has always significantly influenced me even though I was unaware of his presence and leverage.
He is the internal representation of my personality. He resides along with my first personality & my soul. An interesting trinity and an awkward threesome we do make.
After years of languish I must acquaint myself and befriend this life partner of mine so I can empower myself and move forward with my personal development.
To know & understand him is to further aligning my first personality with my soul. To ignore him is to deny myself; forfeit my purpose, and squander my destiny.
What I have learned over the last almost 3 months now is that we have been together since birth and he will never leave me. To be separated from him means my soul's energy has been freed from my body.
Only slightly dulled by the effects of modern day pharmacology and behavioral therapy he comes alive anytime I do not sedate him! He is always willing to listen and give advice. He has great strengths and terrible weaknesses.
To be upset with him is futile just as it would be futile to be upset at the sunset for it will come around again the very next day. To get angry with his advice would mean to live a life of a time bomb just waiting to Go off.
At first I was mad at him as I went back after our introduction and successfully blamed every bad thing that happened to me on him! Later I looked for ways to kill him prohibiting him from influencing me in the future.
But just as I can not take my own soul I have nothing left to do but make friends with him and take on what's left of my life's journey hand in hand maximizing his strengths while being aware, understanding and buffering his weaknesses.
Together we are strong and as a team we are dedicated students in the Earth School. We both have the same class schedule, and when one fails a class we both fail and must start over till be both pass every class. Interestingly enough he doesn't make me who I am. Rather his influence both brings out my strengths but also reinforces my weaknesses.
Together we are Yin & Yang both of us having each and both of them intertwined with each other. One's strength is another's weakness and vice versa.
My ambition is to capitalize on my intention to bring us both into synchronous harmony. That way neither of us can blame the other for our shortcomings and deficiencies. Each day we improve each other and give definition of what it is to be uniquely me!
