Our Master’s Prayer

Our Father which art in Tokyo,

Ricoh be thy name,

Thy kingdom come,Thy will be done in the US, as it is in Japan.

Give us this day our pulverized toner.

And forgive us for our lack of prospecting; as we forgive our slave drivers, I mean sales managers for their whippings.

And lead us not into whoreishness,but deliver us from our competitors!

For thine is the C900,and the tight registration, and the true rated speed,forever and ever or at least to the midpoint in the lease.

Amen
Pirate Mike

Obviously just for fun, so don't get bent out of shape over it...

Leading Pirate style...

Leaders are created and not born just like salesman. Some have more of a propensity for greatness than others. Good leaders have many traits that we can admire and adopt for ourselves. I have had some awesome examples of leaders. I feel like I am very fortunate to have had and still have some great mentors at many different levels.

I believe that leadership can come in many forms, and can be very personal. I take leadership very seriously. I have a tendency to exhibit my individuality in my leadership style. I like to let others know that I am unique and enjoy sharing my passion. I like others to see this through my lifestyle and by the way that I act and react.

I like to extend my hand to those around me to identify myself as one that embraces their humanity. I like to celebrate people’s diversity and be a guiding factor to their success in the endeavors we engage in. I like to lead in little ways. I enjoy being the odd duck and am not afraid to be counted when there is a confrontation. I encourage disagreement and discussion. I do not want anyone to give me a pat answer, when I ask for their opinion I want it as honestly as they can deliver it.

I try to play devil’s advocate in most of my thought processes so allow myself to see both sides of an issue. I am very opinionated, but open minded enough to change my opinion when new facts are evident. I try to participate in the lives of those around me; I do not want to be seen lying around and failing to act. I make decisions quickly and react to my environment as thoughtfully as I can.

I lead by doing; when those that see me respect my thoughts and actions they have given me the greatest gift. I thrive on excellence and cannot stand it when I allow myself to settle. I make plans, plot my actions, hold myself accountable, measure my progress and reassess the situation as often as I can when in a project.

I will do what others will not. This is the key to my success. I will do want YOU will not, this is my advice to you. Look around and see what the masses are doing, then turn about face and go the other direction. As a pirate I tend to be a bit aggressive in my actions at times. Sometimes I do not ask permission. There are many days that I would rather draw a sword than a pen. Not that I forsake the pen, as that would be grossly inaccurate as well. But rather I am not shy to embrace the rule of the sword and understand and comfortable with the eventuality of my fate.

I put the war pain on every day and am grateful for my time that I have to sail and fight. I work in an environment where only the strong survive and where many a want a be warrior gets sacrificed. Over the last 4-5 years I have seen many a college graduate fail do to lack of leadership and lack of passion. You must live with passion and let it fill every area of your life.

Struggle as I may, I enjoy the fight and the feeling of victory. I am no stranger to tragedy and can cope with an emergency with the best of them. I am strong when I need to be and soft as I really am. I do not see the benefit to living as a rogue with no emotions. But yet I love to hold a lady bug as she forages along my hand. I like to watch the sun rise and fall into the water. I am not a stranger to the darkness as it shields my progress toward a common goal of overtaking my enemy.

I never let my goals or enemies out of sight or mind. I keep them close to my heart. I love a good battle and encourage competition from a formidable foe. I will take my steps without looking and draw my arm with passion. I love to put a face with my battles and a name to my failures.

I allow passion to carry me like the winds of the ocean as they sweep me off to my destination. I let emotion riddle me with fleeting thoughts. I like to sit on the bank and think great thoughts. I love to discus great mysteries and allow my mind to discover new avenues of contemplation. A great debate is a treasure. To live with passion is to be an addict to the one of the most powerful drugs of all. To let adrenaline set in is to feed the monster like a junkie.

I am quick to draw a sword and just as quick to lay it aside to embrace friend or foe. I do not take advantage but yet do not allow for mistakes from my competitors. I celebrate a victory and morn a great defeat. I allow myself to make mistakes and support others in their endeavors. I believe in the team concept and am not unfamiliar with taking the bull by the horns and wrestling him to the ground.

I have starred a tiger down and out struck a viper. I have out run a lion and rode an ostrich. I have walked and talked with the animals, and have waited quietly for their responses. I commune with nature and love to teach another my secrets. I do not cast my pearls before swine but am not stingy with the truths that have been revealed to me. My mouth carries my voice loudly but my heart quietly waits the responses of others. I listen as intently as my emotions show my intensity.

I like to lead in the small things and let the large things take care of themselves. I like to be first, and charge the door of uncertainty with the vigor of a dea agent. I believe in others and only seek their respect in return. I like to be the first into battle, and will stay until it is over. I go out in the face of a storm and take off the raingear to be one with my fears. I love to lay by the shore and watch the clouds drift by in mindless shapes.

I love to lead pirate style.

Something wicked this way comes!

Everyone is waiting for their ship to come in and this week it looks like my ship is arriving! I live aboard a Beneteau 331 which is a 34 foot coastal cruiser like the type of boat you would charter in the Virgin Islands or along the coast of Europe. There are many classes of sailboats that fit certain applications. For example there are truly lake boats that are very light weight and fun to sail but should never be on open water. There are coastal cruisers that are about as light but are equipped to stand up to tides/currents and are safe for open water navigation. There are blue water boats that are heavy and full of tankage for long ocean voyages and then there are race boats.

Now race boats also break down into classes from one design where everyone has the exact boat to PHRF (pronounced perf) racers. PHRF is a handicapping system used in yacht racing, so that boats that are not alike can race with each other and still have a chance to win. Yacht racing in many cases really isn't about the boat is it about the crew. The idea is to see who has the best crew so the boats are handicapped to give everyone a fair shot. Now there are several different systems and they all work in a common way of trying to take into account how a boat should perform but none of them work all the time and under all conditions.

The PHRF system is the system that most lakes and costal organzations use. Boats are given a number of seconds that they are given as an advantage based off of the baseline boat "a boat with a 0 rating" so a boat with a 150 rating gets a hundred and fifty second "head start" on the boat that rates a zero. So for example if the first boat crosses the line in 10 minutes (600 seconds) and the next boat finishes in 20 minutes (1200 seconds) but the first boat rates a zero and the second boat rates 120 and it was a 5 mile race then the second boat gets to subtract 120X5=600 seconds from their finish time so that both boats actually finish in a tie! Talk about shocking to find out you finished first eat lunch and still lost to the next boat or a boat that finished twentieth!

Well our teams race boat Second Star was a Beneteau First Series 33.7 and rated 123/126 depending on the event which is ok for cruising boats but very slow for serious race boats. Other elements come into play as well. As the boats get longer the theoretical hull speed also increases along with the sail area that they can carry. The math is pretty simple when you have a full displacement hull the boat can only go a limited speed as the boat will never get on top of the bow wake and plane. The formula is pretty simple even thought there are things it doesn't take into account it is relatively accurate; the square root of the waterline length multiplied by 1.35 is the basic equation. These aspects are all taken into account into your PHRF.

So what racers do is they lighten their boats and make them out of very strong but light weight materials like epoxy and carbon fiber! They also take great pains in engineering everything for a well oiled crew (that becomes movable ballast) to ensure that they boat can keep herself upright under the increased pressures. Everything in the boat is designed to go fast; hulls are not always built for the greatest stability race boats have semi displacement or even planing hulls. So one thing that happens is as boat get bigger (longer water lines) their PHRF typically goes down and as they rip everything including the seats and the microwave out the rating goes down even more. In the end we would not be complete without overloading these "shell" of a boat with incredibly large sails to bring the boats to life.

Now that I face my 4^th race season I will get to graduate to a new level of racing! Originally starting in the cruiser fleet or the "working class sails" group then to graduate to the "spinnaker" class group but be one of the slower "boats" in that class to now racing a brand new one design sport boat in the spinnaker class. We have been diligent and it has paid off for our team. We have seen a good amount of sailors come and go but the core team is still intact. When I started there was the skipper and his wife and whomever else he could con with food and drink to show up! Typically that meant 2 other people. Between the drinks, food and strong winds we would surely finish the race in the same day that we started, but that was not good enough. That first year we pushed very hard (at a pirates request) to raise the standards for crewmanship. Before having a way to get to the lake and a pulse was all that was required. By the end of the year we actually asked people if they had sailed before! By the end of 2006 we were ready to compete. Averaging a crew of 4-6 we started making our mark in the working sails division. By Spring of 2008 we were full time Spinnaker Class racers and as of Lakefest we will begin a new chapter in our racing careers! Now Second Star has new meaning as we will not have anyone in front of us to show us the way we will have to look for the "second star" As you may remember from your childhood:

"The second star to the right
Shines in the night for you
To tell you that the dreams you plan
Really can come true"

Except from "Second star to the right" song from Peter Pan

2005
Who is Second Star?
2006
Icebreaker Series Regatta 8th Place
Lakefest Regatta (I am not 100% sure on this one)
Leukemia Cup Regatta 1st Place (crewing for Sealake Yacht Sales)
Solstice Series Regatta 5th Place
Texoma Classic Regatta 5th Place Wunderlick Regatta 7th Place
Sundowner Regatta Did not compete
2007
Icebreaker Series Regatta 2nd Place
Lakefest Regatta 2nd Place
Leukemia Cup Regatta 1st Place (crewing for Sealake Yacht Sales)
Solstice Series Regatta 1st Place
Asbury Smith Memorial Cup 1st Place
Texoma Classic Regatta 9th Place
Wunderlick Regatta 1st Place
Sundowner Regatta 1st Place
2008
Icebreaker Series Regatta 1st Place
Cedar Mills Yacht Club 1st Place (Spinnaker) Beer Can Race Series
Lakefest Regatta 1st Place (Spinnaker)
Leukemia Cup Regatta 1st Place (crewing for Sealake Yacht Sales)
Solstice Series Regatta 4th Place (Spinnaker)
Asbury Smith Memorial Cup 4th Place (Spinnaker)
Texoma Classic Regatta 2nd Place (Spinnaker)
Wunderlick Regatta 2nd Place (Bob Sittle & J124) Spinnaker
Cedar Mills Regatta 2nd Place (Spinnaker)
Sundowner Regatta 6th Place (Spinnaker)
2009
Icebreaker Series Did not compete
Lakefest Regatta 5th Place (Spinnaker 1st Fleet)

Something wicked this way comes… Second Star Racing the saga continues…

From a PHRF of 123/126 to a renewed opportunity and a rebirth at 33 Second Star Racing is taking it to the next level. Almost a half a million dollars later and what do you get?

Perfection… See you on the water…

Pirate Mike

The Shimmering Darkness…

The day was finally over, the sun had settled down within the depths of the lake.

The sun had put up quite a fight and left the land bleached and dry.

The lake goers had been drained as they filled the lake with the sentiment of their desires.

As the rebels quieted down, and the crowd parted a new set of sounds took over the area.

The moon arose quickly and settled in about a third of the way into the sky.

Only a sliver its presence was quite diluted as the clouds rolled into place and the stage was being set.

It was the day after the great and terrible day and vengeance was about to take its toll.

The temperatures subsided and the winds once again found the body of water that they call home.

The emergency vehicles had gone home no saving was to be done tonight.

Damage already done the mind wanders, tensions are running high.

Mind drunk with emotion, body full of pain, the potential for quite an evening is building.

As I lay aside the cockpit I looked up and realized that my destiny had called me.

The winds calling my name I could hear them saying, "follow me to the next place."

Obedient and methodical I woke up from my emotional stupor, and took on the responsibility to prepare the vessel.

At the strike of 1:00 am I set sail. Pulling the sun drenched and warmed sails I spoke to them commanding; "take me to the place that the winds are calling from."

With that I leave the cockpit and go down below into the dungeon that I call home.

Frantically digging into the darkness, feeling for a remote audio cd that still brandished its wrapper and label I hope for my release.

As I open the unique promise, I place it into my player and emerge to survey my situation.

Black as night, both lovely and unlovely I find myself echo locating the shoreline.

The winds have taken their position on the lake and made themselves prominent across the lakescape.

Then out of the blackness I see a shimmering darkness.

Heading to weather the wind positioning itself to whisper in my left ear I hold still.

As the wind picked up, the water responded in kind with a motion that took it across the lake.

Rollers they were building from the South as I headed to find the source of the wind.

Just a glimpse of their size as the moon varnished their topsides with a glow that could be seen for miles.

As the motion of the lake took a hold of me, the sound of a distant land came to the forefront.

Sharp and pleasant sounds of a simple land on the continent of Africa filled my head as I squinted to keep track of the shore.

I transported myself as the music took my soul from this ragged body and the emotions that once filled it left.

Waves crashing into the bow and it planted itself firmly into its belly. Spray fills the air as the sounds of the life that is such the beginning of all.

As the tribesmen chant their stories of family and survival, I find myself on the roller coaster of life deep within my heart as it sets happily in my chest, far from the sleeve that it once found a perch.

Whispering in my ear I can hear the wind calling me deeper into an almost trance like state.

Into the shimmering darkness I see the water and land dancing before me, leaving a path that only I can feel.

Song after song, I feel my body coming alive. My senses are overwhelmed and the thoughts of the day are far from me. Now the music takes hold and my hand holds the destiny of the vessel.

Between the thumb and forefinger of the right hand I steer this 6 ton beast. Waves crashing and spraying mist into the air, my mind races ahead in anticipation of what lies next.

Sitting in the port side stern perch, head cocked gently to the side, I try to make out the dam and the source of the wind.

Never admitting but gently remembering that it has called for me before.

An elusive friend the wind befriends the water and makes a pact with my vessel.

Completely in sync with nature as the music recharges my soul.

Now the age of completeness comes as I turn the corner to see the light of my home port.

In the shimmering darkness there I find my peace again.

For in the heat of the day, emotions ran free and the damage of their energy has taken its toll.

But now in the perfectness of the moment my soul is again whole, my mind is at ease and my body is free from pain.

Just arriving to my place, I reposition my home and engage the moon to hide me from the shimmering darkness.

July 5^th – 6^th 2008, on Lewisville Lake, listening to the original Mbube music of Africa while participating in the dance of a lifetime, after an event of emotional magnitude.

"Fair weather does not a skilled sailor make. Even the brightest of skippers must navigate through the storms of life to emerge on the other side, sometimes with nothing to guide them but the shimmering darkness of their soul." – Pirate Mike…

Once a Pirate, Always a Pirate

People for the longest time have asked about the pirate reference. Here is a bit of history from which I will build on that explains a bit of what the reference means. I will explain later how the reference was bestowed upon me. – Pirate Mike…

A Pirates Life is good; he lives outside the sovereign boarders of areas that are ruled by kings. Kings rule by land, Pirates rule themselves, and live on the water. Pirates do not subject themselves to the rules of the land, this offends the rulers because if what they did was taxed they would not be pirates they would be commanders of the Navy! In fact in many references that are relatively recent, countries would hire pirates to do what they could not tell/justify to their subjects that they used the Navy for.

The reference to piracy goes back over 3000 years. It appears that the word pirate (peirato) was first used in about 140 BC by the Roman historian Polybius. The Greek historian Plutarch, writing in about 100 A.D., gave the oldest clear definition of piracy. ¹ In this writing the definition that Plutarch used was, "as those who attack without legal authority not only ships, but also maritime cities"

I think the phrase to focus on in this century is "without legal authority." Pirates answer to no one but God himself. Living on their own terms; finding their own way by day and night using the skills that they have developed by the rights of survival. Survival is the key; pirates live by sea and explore the land for resources. Pirate Captains were providers, using the resources that they find on land to maintain themselves, and their companions that follow their leadership about the ship.

Leadership is a key trait in all successful pirates. Without leadership there is no survival. Old pirates whom have lived by the sword for their entire lives have developed leadership, loyalty, tenacity, and entrepreneur desires. To desire to live free has become the utmost priority. To live and die by your dreams has become the mantra at any cost.

A pirate's fate is not a surprise. Pirates are not shocked by their end. Those that live by the sword know well that their end will be by the sword. Make no mistake, I do nothing that I am not aware of, or understand the consequences that could find me. To live fully and with emotion is important even to the modern day pirate. Without the great successes and failures, we would never know life. I put the war paint on every day and expect to be attacked, surprised, and overwhelmed. A day without such great experiences and emotions would be a sad day. To wake up without purpose, without direction would be like setting sail without a chart. Living life believing that the world is flat, as the Kings of old, is as silly as thinking that your dreams will come to you.

A pirate is not scared to sail toward the horizon. The horizon may look bleak to you, but know in your heart that on the other side is the land of riches. Those riches take many forms, love, destiny, provision, faith, all things that are worthy to fight for. This is the "land" that pirates seek. They live on the water as this is the fastest way to get from "land" to "land." And the "land" represents the riches that are needed to fulfill the destiny.

To live by someone else's rules, the "kings" is following the world and the ways that it promotes. Being subject to the harshness of rules created by marketing, advertising and the "group think" of society leaves one devoid of your own thoughts and beliefs. Subject yourself to your own thoughts, the beliefs that you have forged through fear and trembling. Take this advice with caution. To follow the ideals of "Pirate Mike" will only put you on the radar screen of those that would "steal your dream," "steal your passion," "steal your life." You will not become a pirate but simply making the choice to do so. Living the dream is more than a decision. It is a way of life; it is not easy to do those things which go against the common wisdom of others (kings). I have lived 38 years as a pirate, and I still find myself in fear of taking chances, of sailing off into the horizon. And I do this every day; you would think that it would get easier.

Once you hit the "radar screen," ships will be dispatched to intercept you. Their task will be to stop you from arriving on "land." They know if you get there you WILL get the rewards of what you seek. Not everyone is happy about others achieving their dreams. If you achieve yours that makes them feel insignificant and shows that they have not arrived at theirs. Know they will kill you, and take whatever treasure you have already found and achieved. Does this not make them thieves as well?

Know this if you venture out passed your comfort zone on a daily basis and subject yourself only to God, and not the "kings" of this world you will be a Pirate. You will begin your day putting on the war paint and drawing your sword at any that stand between you and your dreams. Do not draw your sword in jest, only as a matter of life and death. Once out of its sheath it is lethal and will force others to draw a line and come against you.

A smart pirate is quiet, takes only what he and his companions need and buries the rest for a future time. Keep accurate maps of where your treasure is. Train your companions, bring value to them, and show them the "way." A strong leader is always respected and many times feared and loved at the same time.

A pirate's life is dangerous, and is constantly changing. I embrace the change. I embrace sailing into the horizon. I do not need to know everything, for what I do know is how to set the sails to the wind, and to weather the storms. The other things like collecting the treasure need no manual or introduction. I feel many times that a warriors life is shorter, but if it means being fulfilled and satisfied than bring it on. I apologize to no one for my life, and the treasures it has brought. I wait for no one. I have lived strong, and will fight for myself and others that find themselves under my direction or on my ship.

My ship has set its course; the wind has found her sails. She is bound for port. I am heading for land to plunder what is needed for me and my crew. I fear for those that would try to stop me. I will bring to my crew what they need, and desire. Yes a pirate's life is good.

Once a pirate, always a pirate, I have answered my own question. Yes now to horizon it is…

The ramblings of Pirate Mike…

"In the artificial world of his cities and towns, man often forgets the true nature of his planet. The sense of all these things comes to him most clearly in the course of a long ocean voyage, when he watches day after day the receding rim of the horizon, ridged and furrowed by waves… And then, as never on land, he knows the truth that his world is a water world, a planet dominated by its covering mantle of ocean, in which the continents are but transient intrusions of land above the all-encircling sea. – Rachel Carson

Rachel Louise Carson (May 27, 1907 – April 14, 1964) was an American
marine biologist and nature writer whose writings are often credited with launching the global environmental movement. ²

¹
Krzysztof Wilczy--ski "History of Piracy" http://www.piratesinfo.com/

² http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Carson

Seven Deadly Sins… The qualifications of a copier salesman…

I have uncovered or become aware of some odd understandings relative to work over the last couple of months. I am not sure really sure how to articulate them, but what I can do is describe them to you and you can figure them out for yourself.

The idea of 7 deadly sins is not spoken of in the bible directly but was used in early Christian teachings to illuminate the idea that man was prone to sin. Catholic teaching broke sin into 2 classifications, venial and mortal sin. The 7 deadly sins are capital or mortal sins.

Listed in the same order used by both Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century, and later by Dante Alighieri in his epic poem The Divine Comedy, the seven deadly sins are as follows: luxuria (extravagance, later lust), gula (gluttony), avaritia (greed), acedia (sloth), ira (wrath), invidia (envy), and superbia (pride).1

Every day I walk a simple path. I talk to people and listen to their problems. After considering the causes and effects of their situation I ask them questions to probe into what they have done to fix their problems and how that effected their situation. I pay close attention to the things that bother them the most and try to get them to prioritize their problems and find out what they are willing to do to fix or remove the problems. I identify the people involved in the problem and the people that are affected by it. I try to assess how much the problem costs them in both hard and soft costs. Once I get a picture of who is involved and the process that they go through to solve their problems, I get an idea if this is something that they want to fix now or in the future.
At the end of the day I have to sit with myself and put together a plan of action and present it to the people that are responsible to fix the problem. If they buy into what I have put down they agree and act, if not they disagree we discuss it further. If we cannot come to an agreement we both go our separate ways and they continue with the situation that they have as it was before I came along.

This is the life of a document management equipment and services professional. We are sometimes referred to as the "copier guy." I am sure that in this day and age we should be called the "copier person," as the gender reference is quite unnecessary. In this game either sex has the same opportunity to participate in the 7 deadly sins that are so profound in this industry. When I talk about being a corporate pirate most laugh and think I am joking or exaggerating the situation but if you could be a fly on the wall in our building and the many buildings just like ours you would not sleep at night.

Ok that is probably an exaggeration, but it would shock you and in many cases disgust you. After almost 5 years this industry many times makes me feel ashamed of the people I work with and for. I many times have said that your success with a company like mine as a customer is dependent on your connection to it. If your rep is not good, neither will be your experience with the company they work for. Manufacturers and dealers of office equipment and document management services work on a very basal level. And in many cases the parent company or distribution organization is quite evil by nature. Your only hope is to have a buffer "rep" to keep you whole in the experience, or at least minimize the beating (both financial and emotional) you will take from it.

I most of the time try to overlook how others act and the underlying tones that are so prevalent in my business. I try very hard to balance myself and offer solutions to problems and charge people a equitable price somewhere between the extremes that are going to be presented by my counterparts. I also try to the an expert in the areas of topic so that I bring value and am not making money without earning it and putting in the work needed to earn the business for the long term.

I was privy to a conversation which displayed the ugliness that is so frequently seen that makes even the most native business person wary of people in our industry. When dragged into the conversation I was a presented a scenario and asked a question. I answered, "oh that is greedy you can't do that well I mean you can but you will be exposed and the customer will hate you for life." Everyone looked at me like I was a Martian speaking Swahili. I for a brief moment remembered why I consider leaving this business almost daily. The sad thing is it is the culture that has been fostered for many generations of salespeople and managers and is not needed at all.

You could almost say the 7 deadly sins are the 7 needed qualities of a "copier salesperson."
Companies interview perspective employees and make sure that they have ample quantities of each of the 7 deadly sins and forgo any real qualifications. My first boss said, "Michael even a monkey can do this job." He further illustrated, "I could tape a lease to the back of a blind dog, kick him out of the building and eventually he would come back with it signed." He would later prove himself correct and become wildly successful as a salesman, sales manager and then a branch manager for a fortune 1000 company.


So let's for fun look into the world of a copier salesperson just briefly and examine the qualifications first hand shall we.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 1

Latin: luxuria (extravagance, later lust)
In copier sales an effective sales manager will show a young salesperson how to drive their desires for things which of themselves are not evil but to excess are lustful. Whether it is sex, money, power, control if you are still breathing surely you don't have enough of any of them. A good copier salesperson will never be satisfied, and will always be disappointed with how much they sell, how much they make (see greed), how quickly they get promoted, how long their vacation is. A great copier salesperson will stop at nothing to further their lust of all things corporate.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 2

Latin: gula (gluttony)
In copier sales the best sales representatives will be easily identified by how well they gorge themselves on all things corporate. Copier salespeople are not temperate or aware that they should have any natural limits to anything the desire (see above). A good manager will gather his or her sales people together on a regular basis and teach basic gluttony. This is really quite a simple thing to learn, you just take your newbie's out and feed them a $200 dinner, drink 2 or 3 bottles of very expensive liquor/wine, and have grand discussions on how they too can have more than they can legitimately use for themselves. A good sales manager will take the new people out shopping and show them how to buy things they don't need or will ever use. The virtue of overkill will be a daily practice until they even employ it in their own lives.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 3

Latin: avaritia (greed)
Money is just the beginning of greed. A good sales manager will make sure to teach the principle if the customer is spending $10 and is unhappy they will gladly spend $20 to be happy, even when the solution costs $2 and can be sold at a profit for $4. Why would you save the customer $6 when you can increase their budget based on the pain they have and make an extra $16, $8 of which you will get to keep. Managers are quick to instruct their salespeople to get what is theirs and a bit more. It is so bad that over time it becomes so common that the goal is to see how much you can charge someone without them going bankrupt before they make their first payment and lock themselves into the deal or before they realize how bad they got screwed. Greed goes way beyond the customer but reaches into the team that they are on and the associates that they work with. Greed says that you must sell everything in your neighbors' pond before reaching into your own. A good manager will promote greed as it facilitates the need to sell more and makes everyone more competitive as they must to survive.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 4

Latin: acedia (sloth)
This is a principle that is taught by the manager that has to be managed all the time. It is the manager's job to manage focus of their salespeople and ensure that their needs are met first. Sloth is taught as a privilege. If you over achieve and sell more than anyone needs, and ensure the managers needs are cared for you can do absolutely nothing. They are taught to sleep in, stare at their computers, take time off. It is the reward for proper lusting, greediness, gluttony as well as the other 3. When you have overloaded on the other 6 deadly sins you must Sloth. Slothing becomes a way of life. You wake up driven by the lust of being over full (gluttony) and greed and the reward for over achieving is Slothfullness.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 5

Latin: invidia (envy)
A good and experienced manager will stack rank their salespeople and grade them against all of the other salespeople across the organization regardless of how much of an apple vs orange comparison it really is. A good copier salesperson cannot stand to see another have success and becomes driven by the lust of success to overachieve and be as greedy as possible so that they can overcome and surpass all of their comrades. A quickly rising manager will ensure that every one of their sales reps cannot stand to even hear of someone else's success or participate in an activity with someone they think could possibly out do them. Envy resents anything that is good that happens or is good about anyone that they see. Envy is very closely related to Pride, and it drives the lust of self worth which is the fuel that makes pride gluttonous.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 6

Latin: superbia (pride)
A sales manager cannot graduate until they are good at making each sales person believe that they are the best and deserve everything and more. Days of sloth are awarded to those that can be the fullest of themselves. Copier sales people gorge themselves with the lusts of the flesh and material goods until they cannot move or afford to move then are pushed out the door with belief that they are the only person alive and that they deserve more. They are rewarded for becoming a prima donna. A good manager will know how to control their prima donna's and let them all think they are 1. A practical organization will parade their top performers around and show them that they are invaluable and that they can have anything they desire fueling their lusts. Then the manager just begins over and finds new untapped desires and drives them to gluttony with greed, and keeps them competing with envy in the fearlessness of their pride. When they fall over from exhaustion they give them days to recuperate by awarding them time to Sloth. If they are having a bad month they will use their pride to control them with the envy and wrath of their fellow associates.

Qualification of a good copier salesperson 7

Latin: ira (wrath)
Wrath is a byproduct of the final two deadly sins Envy and Pride. It is quite ugly and not as common but is a product of greed and envy. When someone else has success a good copier sales person becomes instantly envious and because they are excessively greedy they fuel this emotion with wrath, which satisfies their pride in that they should be the only one that can be so successful or rich or whatever the deadly sin promotion is for the month. It is most obvious when the greed of one sales person takes an account from another to fuel their lust of one of their desires. Since they cannot satisfy this gluttony with their own accounts they must do it with someone else's. It is much more pleasurable to satisfy themselves with someone else's accounts. This lust and greed creates the wrath of the sales person that is feeling envious of the success of the greedy and gluttonous sales rep. A good manager deals with wrath in the most obvious way, with a good dose of pride. "You are not going to let so and so do that to you are you?" "You know you are twice the sales person they are!" Then an experienced sales manager will look for a lust that can fuel the envy and promote the rep that has wrath to go out and be greedy enough to show up the original rep. Wrath is a great way to push someone to compete with the others when the other 5 are having little effect. Sloth is reserved for those that have been over gluttonous for some time and had a lot of success being lustful and greedy.
The seven deadly sins require a lot of effort to perfect so typically a good manager will only focus and practice one at a time till they manage a group of major account executives or specialists. In which case the sales people are quite advanced and can practice multiple sins at a time. This requires a very greedy and prideful manager that can truly harness the energy of their people and use it to fuel their own desires (lust) and gluttony. And of course a good manager works their sales people to death chasing after the dream while they practice the greatest of all sins; Sloth…

In the end a good copier salesman or saleswomen (which there are many) are taught that they deserve whatever they can take from someone else and that it is ok at any cost. They are taught to pull out the stops and go for broke. They are taught how to gamble as professionals and to know when to risk it all for the payoff of the ultimate permanent full time sloth which is held as a carrot to a donkey.

I hope you have enjoyed this enlightenment…

PS – There are organizations that promote the 7 virtues and moderate their sales people keeping them "connected" and customer centric. But they are far and few between, and almost nonexistent in the copier business.

This is why I live a simple life on a 34 foot boat, forsaking the trappings of Dallas and all that is offers. Not that I haven't had my moments being caught up in the limelight. I was after all a 2 time president's club winner and a 1 time circle of excellence winner for that unnamed fortune 1000 company that way talked about above. I am the prodigy of that sales manager that eventually became a branch general manager ;)

Life is fast, life is hard, life never lasts long enough to learn how simple it really is. We complicate it so that we can feel superior to everything else that God has created, when really we were created from the very dust that everything else walks on - Pirate Mike

I am sure that this is considered blasphemous to those that are in my industry as we all want to believe that we are saints. (It is part of our pride) – Pirate Mike